The text below the line comes directly from the original CEPE checklist, unadulterated except for the removal of their logo and color scheme.
I think it does an excellent job in describing what checklists like this are useful for and how they are best used, and as I did not alter the list itself in any way either (except to highlight my own answers to the questions) I thought it best to preserve this message as well.
The original checklist – unfilled – can be found at this link. (Unfortunately the original page is gone and the domain has been squatted by an adware pusher… if you still have the link that I have now removed – don’t go there, use the archive of it here instead.)
I make no claims to authorship and use this only as an illustration. I am happy to answer any questions and you can reach me at [email protected].
In some cases it isn’t exactly clear in which direction things are intended, so there will be questions – for things that do not apply to me (for instance, I have neither breasts nor a vagina) I have tried to use the strikethrough to indicate that it does not apply.
My views on some of these things are somewhat fluid as well and may change from time to time – for instance, I’m not a fan of being bound – at all – but if I somehow found myself wanting to switch for someone (also unlikely) I would submit to it more readily than all of the “1’s” might seem to indicate. And yet – despite being a Dom, I’m more of a masochist than I am a Sadist, so there are some apparent inconsistencies with the role that are perfectly consistent with Me.
Checklists are frequently difficult to complete due to the complex variety to what we enjoy.
When we try to fill them out as Tops, Bottoms, Dominants, Submissives, etcetera there is usually confusion over fetishes that aren’t physically interactive between partners or over activities that may not clear as to who is giving and who receiving. A sincere effort has been made here to reduce this kind of confusion, but bdsm checklists will never be perfect enough that you won’t probably have to go to your partner and confer about how to answer at least one item.
Take it as a blessing in disguise – a bdsm checklist is only supposed to get a conversation started. That’s what the tool is made for. Remember, it’s just a beginning to negotiation, not
an end in itself.
Done to/for Self: Read this as how you feel about being on the receiving end of the act.
(As examples, here Whipping would refer to you being whipped, while Massage would mean you’re the one on the table.)
Done to/for Others: Read this as how you feel about having someone else receive this act.
(In the examples above, you would be delivering the Whipping, or serving your partner a Massage.)
Tried: Have you tried this? Circle Yes or No for each.
Rating: How does/might this feel to you? Use the chart below as a guide, and circle two answers together if you’re “in-between.”
| / | Not Applicable | Actions that are physical impossibilities. Draw a slash through the box for these. |
| ? | Curious | Maybe you’re never tried this, or only once, and want to experience more before deciding how much you like it. |
| ! | Essential | This is something that you can’t see yourself enjoying a scene/date/relationship without. |
| 5 | Love | You love doing whatever it is. |
| 4 | Like | You like doing whatever it is. |
| 3 | Don’t Mind | You can take this or leave it, but will probably do it for your partner. |
| 2 | Dislike | You dislike this but will put up with it for your partner. |
| 1 | Hate | You hate this but will put up with it for your partner. |
| × | Soft Limit | Something you cannot attempt at this time but might be possible in the future. |
| X | Hard Limit | Something you will not ever attempt. |
| Activity | To/For Self | To/For Others | ||
| Done | Rate | Done | Rate | |
| Anal Play
Acts in which the anus is involved. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Beating (General)
Acts in which one partner is beaten. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Beating – Canes
Acts in which one partner is beaten with a cane. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Beating – Crops
Acts in which one partner is beaten with a crop. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Beating – Floggers
Acts in which one partner is beaten with a flogger. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Beating – Hairbrushes
Acts in which one partner is beaten with a hairbrush. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Beating – Hard
Acts in which one partner is beaten hard. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Beating – Paddles
Acts in which one partner is beaten with a paddle. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Beating – Soft
Acts in which one partner is beaten softly. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Beating – Spanking
Acts in which one partner is beaten with a hand. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Beating – Straps
Acts in which one partner is beaten with a strap. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Beating – Whips
Acts in which one partner is beaten with a whip. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Beating Location – Back
Beating based acts that focus on the back as a target. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Beating Location – Bottom
Beating based acts that focus on the bottom as a target. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Activity | To/For Self | To/For Others | ||
| Done | Rate | Done | Rate | |
| Beating Location – Chest
Beating based acts that focus on the chest or breasts as a target. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Beating Location – Feet
Beating based acts that focus on the feet (usually the soles) as a target. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Beating Location – Genitals
Beating based acts that focus on the genitals as a target. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Beating Location – Legs
Beating based acts that focus on the legs as a target. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bestiality
Sex with animals. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Biting
Acts involving biting one partner with the teeth of the other. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Blindfolds
Acts in which blindfolds are placed over one partner’s eyes to remove that sense (and often heighten others). |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Body Modification – Branding
Burning the body, often with a specific design, to leave a permanent mark or scar. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Body Modification – Piercing, Permanent
Putting an object through a part of the body for permanent adornment. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Body Modification – Piercing, Play
Exploring the concept of body piercing but in a manner that is temporary. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Body Modification – Saline Injection
Injecting saline in to a part of the body to temporarily engorge it. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Body Modification – Scarification
Deliberately causing scars, often through cutting the skin, for adornment. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Body Modification – Tattooing
Adorning the body by permanently applying ink under the skin. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage (General)
Binding or restricting some or all of the body. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Activity | To/For Self | To/For Others | ||
| Done | Rate | Done | Rate | |
| Bondage – Breast
Binding or restricting the breasts. |
No |
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage – Cuffs
Binding or restricting the body (usually the wrists) with [hand]cuffs. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage – Genital
Binding or restricting the genitals. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage – Heavy
Heavily binding or restricting the body, usually to the point where no, or next-to no, movement is possible. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage – Intricate
Intricately binding or restricting some or all of the body. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage – Light
Lightly binding or restricting the body. Usually more symbolic than actually restrictive. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage – Locks
Bondage that involves locks and keys. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage – Prolonged
Binding or restricting some or all of the body for prolonged periods of time. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage – Sleeves, Arm
Restricting the movement of the arms by placing them in a confining sleeve. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage – Sleeves, Leg
Restricting the movement of the legs by placing them in a confining sleeve. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage – Spreader Bars
Restricting the movement of the legs by connecting them to either end of a bar, usually forcing them open. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage – Stocks
Restricing movement by placing the wrists and neck (though may involve ankles) through a set of stocks. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage – Strait Jackets
Binding or restricting the torso and arms by placing them inside a straight jacket. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Activity | To/For Self | To/For Others | ||
| Done | Rate | Done | Rate | |
| Bondage – Suspension
Binding or restricting someone so they are suspended above the ground. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage – Suspension, Inverted
Binding or restricting someone so they are suspended above the ground, upside-down. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage – Whole Body
Binding or restricting the whole body. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage Material – Chain
Binding or restricting the body, or parts of, with chain. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage Material – Leather
Binding or restricting the body, or parts of, with leather. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage Material – Rope
Binding or restricting the body, or parts of, with rope. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage Material – Saran Wrap
Binding or restricting the body, or parts of, with saran wrap (clingfilm). |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage Material – Scarves
Binding or restricting the body, or parts of, with [usually silk] scarves. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Bondage Material – Tape
Binding or restricting the body, or parts of, with [usually adhesive] tape. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Breath Play
Also called Asphyxiation. Acts involving restricting or cutting off the supply of oxygen. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Catheters
Inserting a tube in to the urethra to collect urine. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Clothespins
Using clothespins to pinch parts of the body. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Clothing – Chosen For
Having your clothing choices made for you, usually without the ability to appeal. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Clothing – Corsets
Wearing corsets which control the shape of the waist and hips. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Activity | To/For Self | To/For Others | ||
| Done | Rate | Done | Rate | |
| Clothing – Full Head Hoods
Wearing hoods that cover the entire head, leaving only small holes for vision, breathing, etc. (if even them). |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Clothing – Harnesses
Wearing clothing that harnesses the body without necessarily covering it. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Clothing – High Heels
Wearing high-heeled shoes. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Clothing – Lingerie
Wearing women’s lingerie. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Clothing – Masks
Wearing masks that cover the face. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Clothing – Uniforms (General)
Wearing uniforms that have a given significance. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Clothing – Uniforms, Military
Wearing military uniforms. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Clothing – Uniforms, School
Wearing schoolgirl/schoolboy uniforms. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Clothing Material – Leather
Clothing made out of, or involving, leather. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Clothing Material – PVC
Clothing made out of, or involving, PVC (the shiny plasticy material). |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Clothing Material – Rubber
Clothing made out of, or involving, rubber or latex. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Clothing Material – Sheer
Clothing made out of, or involving, sheer (transparent or translucent) material. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Collars – Private
Wearing a “slave” collar in private. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Collars – Public
Wearing a “slave” collar in public. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Activity | To/For Self | To/For Others | ||
| Done | Rate | Done | Rate | |
| Crawling
The act of crawling on all fours to denote submission. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Cutting
Deliberately cutting the skin. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Dilation – Anal
Deliberately stretching the anus open. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Dilation – Vaginal
Deliberately stretching the vagina open. |
No |
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Discipline
Submitting to, or receiving, the [often corporal] discipline of another. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Drinking – Blood
Drinking blood. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Drinking – Semen
Drinking semen. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Drinking – Urine
Drinking urine. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Electricity
Using electricity for sensation or pain. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Enemas
Applying liquid (traditionally warm water) in to the lower intestine, via a tube. Often to induce uncontrolled, or hard to control, excretion. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Examination – Physical
Having your body physically examined and, often, appraised. Sometimes this includes medical examination roleplays though, here, that is listed as Roleplay – Medical. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Exhibitionism – Forced
Exposing your body to others, nominally against your will, at the will of another. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Exhibitionism – Voluntary
Willingly exposing your body to others. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Activity | To/For Self | To/For Others | ||
| Done | Rate | Done | Rate | |
| Face Slapping
Slapping the face, usually with an open hand, to cause pain or denote position. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Fisting – Anal
Placing an entire hand (the term “fist” is often an exageration) inside the anus. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Fisting – Vaginal
Placing an entire hand (the term “fist” is often an exageration) inside the vagina. |
No |
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Food – Chosen For
Having your food choices made for you, usually without the ability to appeal. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Food – From Body
Eating food from another person’s body. Either eating it directly from them or using them as a platter. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Food – From Bowl
Eating food directly from a bowl, like an animal such as a cat or dog. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Food – From Hand
Eating food directly from another person’s hand. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Gags (General)
Devices used to limit, or prevent, verbal communication. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Gags – Ball
A type of gag that uses a ball to effectively block any verbal communication. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Gags – Bit
A type of gag that uses a bar that goes across the mouth, much like a horse’s “bit”. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Gags – Ring
A type of gag that uses a ring to force the mouth open while providing access to the, now undefendable, mouth. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Gags – Tape
Using adhesive tape across the mouth to create a gag. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Given Away (General)
Being given, at a partner’s whim, to another person, usually temporarily. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Given Away – Auctions
Being given to another person as the result of a [slave] auction. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Activity | To/For Self | To/For Others | ||
| Done | Rate | Done | Rate | |
| Given Away – Permanent
Being given away, at a partner’s whim, to another person, permanently. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Hand Jobs
Pleasuring someone else’s genitals with your hand. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Heterosexuality – Forced
Sexual acts with members of the opposite sex, nominally against your will. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Heterosexuality – Voluntary
Sexual acts with members of the opposite sex, willingly. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Homosexuality – Forced
Sexual acts with members of the same sex, nominally against your will. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Homosexuality – Voluntary
Sexual acts with members of the same sex, willingly. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Humiliation – Private
Acts in which you are humiliated, degrated, or shamed, in a private setting. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3span> 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Humiliation – Public
Acts in which you are humiliated, degrated, or shamed, in front of others. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Humiliation – Verbal
Acts in which you are humiliated, degrated, or shamed, through either the words of someone else (such as name calling) or your own words. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Including Others
Acts in which other people, from outside your immediate relationship, are included. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Kneeling
The act of kneeling to denote submission. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Leashes
Wearing a leash, attached to a collar (or other convenient point). |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Lecturing
An exposition of a given subject for the purpose of instruction or reprimand. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Licking
Using your tongue on another person’s body [or, often, anything they require]. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Activity | To/For Self | To/For Others | ||
| Done | Rate | Done | Rate | |
| Massage
Rubbing another person’s body for their relaxation. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Masturbation – Forced
Pleasuring your own genitals, with your hand, nominally against your will. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Masturbation – Voluntary
Pleasuring your own genitals, with your hand, willingly. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Nipple Clamps
Placing clamps on the nipples to cause pain. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Nipple Play
Acts that focus on the nipples. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Nipple Weights
Applying weights to the nipples to stretch them, generally to cause pain. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Nudity – Forced
Periods of time spent without clothing, nominally against you will. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Nudity – Voluntary
Periods of time spent without clothing. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Orgasm – On Command
Having to orgasm on the command of another person. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Orgasm Control
Giving control of when and how orgasms are experienced – and when they are not – to another person. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Orgasm Denial
Losing the right to have orgasms for an [often protracted] period of time. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Pain (General)
Acts involving physical pain. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Pain – Heavy
Acts involving a very large degree of physical pain. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Pain – Light
Acts involving some physical pain, yet without too great an intensity – being more symbolic than serious. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Activity | To/For Self | To/For Others | ||
| Done | Rate | Done | Rate | |
| Phone Sex
Having sexually explicit phone conversations, usually involving performing sexual acts at the same time. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Rape – Fantasy
Acts that explore being sexually used, nominally against your will, by another person. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Rape – Fantasy, Gang
Acts that explore being sexually used, nominally against your will, by more than one other person. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Recorded Scenes – Photographs, Private
Having photographs taken of you, either naked or indulging in a sexual act, for private viewing only. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Recorded Scenes – Photographs, Shared
Having photographs taken of you, either naked or indulging in a sexual act, to be shared with others. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Recorded Scenes – Video, Private
Having video taken of you, either naked or indulging in a sexual act, for private viewing only. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Recorded Scenes – Video, Shared
Having video taken of you, either naked or indulging in a sexual act, to be shared with others. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Roleplay (General)
Scenes in which the participants take on and act out roles. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Roleplay – Age
Scenes in which the participants take on and act out roles based on being a different age (such as babies or naughty young girls). |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Roleplay – Education
Scenes in which the participants take on and act out roles based on a scholastic teacher/student setting. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Roleplay – Interrogation
Scenes in which the participants take on and act out roles based on interrogations where one person is the interrogator and the other the subject. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Activity | To/For Self | To/For Others | ||
| Done | Rate | Done | Rate | |
| Roleplay – Kidnapping
Scenes in which the participants take on and act out roles based on one partner being kidnapped. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Roleplay – Medical
Scenes in which the participants take on and act out roles such as Doctor/Patient. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Roleplay – Pig
Scenes in which the subject takes on and acts out a role based on being a pig. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Roleplay – Pony
Scenes in which the subject takes on and acts out a role based on being a pony. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Roleplay – Prison
Scenes in which the participants take on and act out roles based on the prison world such as Sadistic Jailer/Vulnerable Inmate |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Roleplay – Puppy
Scenes in which the subject takes on and acts out a role based on being a puppy or adult dog. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Roleplay – Religious
Scenes in which the participants take on and act out roles based on the religious world such as confessionals or Bishop/Nun. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Roleplay – Whore
Scenes in which the subject takes on and acts out a role based on being a male or female prostitute, selling themselves to another person for sex. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sensation Play (General)
Acts involving the senses and strong sensations. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sensation Play – Deprivation
Acts involving depriving the subject of their senses (often to heighten the remaining ones). |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sensation Play – Fire
Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by fire and heat. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sensation Play – Hair Pulling
Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by having hair pulled. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Activity | To/For Self | To/For Others | ||
| Done | Rate | Done | Rate | |
| Sensation Play – Hot Wax
Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by having hot candle wax dripped on to or applied to the body. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sensation Play – Ice
Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by using ice or other cold items on the body. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sensation Play – Needle
Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by using needles on the body, either scratching with them, or poking them. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sensation Play – Scratching
Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by being scratched. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sensation Play – Suction
Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by having suction applied to the body. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sensation Play – Teasing
Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by teasing the body. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sensation Play – Tickling
Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by tickling the body. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Serving (General)
Serving another person in specific ways, putting their pleasure ahead of your own. For example, a maid or a sexual servant. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Serving – Art
Serving another person, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, as a (usually immobile) piece of artwork such as a statue. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Serving – Ashtray
Serving another person, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, using a part of your body as a receptacle for their cigarette or cigar ash. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Serving – Chauffer
Serving another person, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, as their formal driver. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Activity | To/For Self | To/For Others | ||
| Done | Rate | Done | Rate | |
| Serving – Dancer
Serving another person, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, as a dancer. For example, a belly dancer or stripper. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Serving – Following Orders
Serving another person, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, as they give you specific formal orders to follow. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Serving – Forced
Serving another person in specific ways, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, nominally forced against your will. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Serving – Furniture
Serving another person, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, as an immobile piece of furniture. For example, on all fours as a table or a footstool. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Serving – Housework
Serving another person, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, performing household chores. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Serving – Maid
Serving another person, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, as a maid. For example, serving tea while wearing a uniform. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Serving – Sexually
Serving another person, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, in whatever sexual way pleases them. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sex – Anal
Sexual intercourse involving a penis entering your anus. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sex – Cunnilingus
Sexually stimulating the vagina with a mouth/tongue. |
No |
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sex – Denial
Going without sex, or sexual gratification, often at another person’s command. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sex – Fellatio
Sexually stimulating the penis with a mouth/tongue. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sex – Group
Sexual intercourse with more than one partner. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Activity | To/For Self | To/For Others | ||
| Done | Rate | Done | Rate | |
| Sex – Penetration, Double
Sexual intercourse in which two orrifices (mouth, vagina, anus) are filled. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sex – Penetration, Triple
Sexual intercourse in which three orrifices (mouth, vagina, anus) are filled. |
No |
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sex – Rimming
Sexually stimulating the anus with a mouth/tongue. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sex – Threesome
Sexual intercourse with two other people. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sex – Vaginal
Sexual intercourse involving a penis entering your vagina. |
No |
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sex – Vanilla
Traditional sexual intercourse, without involving any kinks. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sex Toys – Beads
Having a string of connected beads (or balls) inserted in to your anus or vagina and then pulled out. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sex Toys – Butt Plugs
Wearing a “plug” inserted in to your anus. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sex Toys – Dildos
Using and/or being penetrated with a non-vibrating artificial phallus. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sex Toys – Eggs
Variously known as Ben-Wa Balls, Love Eggs, etc. Two balls made to be vaginally inserted which vibrate when you move or are battery powered to vibrate. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sex Toys – Public (Under Clothes)
Going out in public with a sex toy (such as a butt plug) in your body, under your clothing. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sex Toys – Strap On
Using and/or being penetrated with an artificial phallus that fastens about a partner’s waist. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Sex Toys – Vibrators
Using and/or being penetrated with a vibrating toy, usually an artificial phallus. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Activity | To/For Self | To/For Others | ||
| Done | Rate | Done | Rate | |
| Shaving – Body
Removing all traces of hair below the neck. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Shaving – Genital
Removing all traces of hair from the genitals. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Shaving – Genital, Styling
Shaving or trimming pubic hair, removing some but not all of it in a given style. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Shaving – Head
Removing all traces of hair from the head. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Showers – Brown
Defecating on another person. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Showers – Golden
Urinating on another person. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Speculums – Anal
Using a medical tool to dilate (stretch open) the entrance to the anus, providing access within. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Speculums – Vaginal
Using a medical tool to dilate (stretch open) the entrance to the vagina, providing access within. |
No |
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Swapping (Partner)
Sex between two or more couples where members of each couple exchange partners and have sex with them. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Voyeurism
Watching someone, often without their knowledge, in a situation with sexual connotations. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Worship – Boot
Worshiping the boots of another person. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Worship – Bottom
Worshiping the bottom of another person. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Worship – Breast
Worshiping the breasts of another person. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
No |
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Activity | To/For Self | To/For Others | ||
| Done | Rate | Done | Rate | |
| Worship – Foot
Worshiping the feet of another person. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Worship – Genital
Worshiping the genitals of another person. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Worship – High Heel
Worshiping the high-heeled shoes of another person. |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes
No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
| Wrestling
Wrestling with another person, overpowering them or being overpowered. |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Yes No |
Essential Curious
5 4 3 2 1 Soft Limit Hard Limit |
Thank you. This is very new to me. I’m not sure how to start as a new sub. I would like to email you with questions. I’m communicating with someone but it’s been frustrating because he says he doesn’t want me as a sub but he treats me as one.
Feel free to contact me through the Contact Me page or at [email protected] – I do try to answer all reasonable questions.
The cepemo link takes me to one of those “buy this domain” sites. Would you perhaps have a writable copy of that limits worklist that you would be willing to forward on to me?
Thank you very much.
That is unfortunate. I wonder what happened with their domain ownership, perhaps someone forgot to pay the bill…
In any case, there is an archive of the original page here: http://archive.is/rHcFL
Hopefully the original will be back soon.
– Rant
Thanks for this list. It helps to get an idea of all the things that fall under the umbrella of BDSM. I appreciate you posting the list, even if you aren’t the author. It sounds like education is as important as safety & sanity for those thinking about or new to the lifestyle.
Just found your site tonight and am exploring. Appreciating all your hard work, in advance. ☮️ J